When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better than them.

Friday, April 30, 2010

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together

Roseball was a success; Zeta Beta Tau formal today; school ends next week; have a great family and wonderful friends; steady job; a good sidepiece... what more can a girl ask for??

Thursday, April 1, 2010

optimism :)




he doesn't deserve me.

i know that that's what everyone's been telling me for months, and ive known it was true. but now i feel it. i feel it in my heart that i am too good for him. he wasn't any good for me. he hurt me, he rejected me, he made the corners of my soul cave in. he made me happy for such a short time, and even then it was full of ups and downs. and i deserve better than that. i deserve a boy that loves me, that truly knows me fully and completely and is in love with every bit of me. i deserve a guy that always wants to be with me and will do anything for me. i deserve honesty and a man who makes me happy.

and i believe he exists. i believe now that someday, i will find my perfect match. i haven't been optimistic in months. i've spent so much time alone, dwelling on him, on the one that broke my heart. and i haven't been able to see that this isn't the end. i'm young, i have the rest of my life ahead of me. one day, i will find that person and we will fall crazily and madly in love. he exists. and it's okay if i don't find him anytime soon. i'm not going to go out there and search for him. because you know what? i do believe in soulmates. i believe that everyone has someone made just for them. and today, today i felt that hope inside of me. that i will find my soulmate. and that this guy, this stupid guy that broke me is not him. so why am i wasting my life crying over him? from now on, i'm just going to let go. i know i won't completely get over him right away, but i'm not going to spend any more time sitting at home when i could be living my life. i'm letting go of him because i don't need him.

i'm going to live. i'm going to have a love for life. and i'm going to be happy.
01/01/10